do i tell my friend, that one, the one who told me once that 1st kisses were sth ossim that was to look fwd to, who's leaving for the states for possibly over 2 years on Friday, that all my attempts at a 1st kiss which have started in kindergarten felt nuthin like what he described (1st one ended with "damn you and your drool kiss!" as some of you may already know, 2nd wasn't consensual and 3rd was from ThatGuy who did it like the kraken from POTC -i'm pretty sure my toes wiggled as he sucktioned my face off) and that before he goes off to the new world to practice his CPA skills on different kinds of girls and probably come back married with kids, 1st i'd like him to give me a 1st kiss of those which he described?

i had a furry toy crocodile in my place when i 1st moved in and then my auntie claimed it back, true story.

Hmmmm I dunno if it's going to be like they described unless it's kind of an in the moment thing.

i see.. it's srange for me to ever be saying this about someone who has all the properties of a perspective uncrush but well if kisses are really but explosions of goo and mouth misplacements my brain just tells me i'd just like the dude who gave me false hopes about it to admit to be wrong by giving me a terrible kiss? idk why but i keep getting the image of realizing that this is just another trick my brain is doing on me to get me to do sth utterly unnice to myself, but well if it is it's doing a darn good job :/

i see myself taking to him for some time to explain exactly how i feel about him and how i'd like to be friends forever with him and yet wanna yunno interdrool with him for just once before he goes and becomes a total grownup, which is very new for me because A. i'm a nontalkative rl person, well except for when i'm with him but i still never seen myself discussing THIS with HIM. B) i'm sp going to sound JUST like him when he asked me out 4 years ago.. but well he sounded really, REALLY nice and that didn't have anything to do with me rejecting his offer.

o-well this is the first time any of this has happened to me and i still don't really believe i'm going to do as it sounds UNREAL but i'm really happy about the changes in me that've gotten to this point so far... would y'all be on chat if buy a cam and like... ask u how i look before i go to ask him to kiss mehh? :/ i don hav anyone for that matter but you ppl, o-well ihav him but i can't use him in this case i suppose.

I HATE THIS JAZZY THING! I wrote the reply and clicked on the post reply button my acident and I deleted it DAMN!

...

Maybe you should just ask if you might kiss him farewell and see what happens from there.  If you can ask without expecting or requesting fireworks or intergalactic travel you may be pleasantly surprised at the results, and if the answer is no or the interdrool sodden your disappointment may not be so deep or lasting.  All I can do is guess for you while you have the chance to feel it out for yourself, one way or another.  Good luck!

hey dude fanx for your reply : D i've thought about what you said and i think you're very right, and am excited about trying out for myself... anyways status report i called him yesterday but he didn't pick up the phone or call back so today i just texted him goodbye, loads of luck and all that friendly jazz which i did mean from the heartzors and he still hasn't replied and mind u his flight is tomorrow, prolly morning.. so ya i guess he's pretty much not the least interested in seeing me before leaving as he repeatedly said but wut the hell i'm glad i ever got to the epoint of srsly considering to ask someone for a kiss after being the nontalkative bunny all my life... kudos for the lazer man.

i hate how i get so goofey when he calls specially when to say he's leaving the country -no, the continent. so i was real goofey when he called today. i dun care if he does come to damas early enuff i'll meet up withim and lettim know at least what i wanna do... i'm considering to let go of the what i wanna say part -would be a bit too healthy than i really am.

i hate how talkative he can make me, in a bad way. i'm sayng useless things on here ppl how can u put up with such bs...

now i have to wash up and stuff so jic he does show up and ask to see me i'm not too messy to dare and go... i HATE freshening up, that's one thing to know about me. i mean showering is one thing, but tryiing to look neat is... pure rocket science.

"status update"

so it turns out i can actually tell ppl what's on my mind without the world exploding -well, not exactly, and that i apparently have a crush on someone i don't want to sexe or hug or touch, and that i don't have a crush on the dude i have a crush on. i just feel nobody's anyone unless they're him :/ it's like i'd rather waste my time with him, having an unpleasant conversation or silence than meet my technical soulmate or win a million dollars or anything in the world. i'm sick man

oh and regarding the 'gator, i'm like really hungry and wonder whether Why So Steve is back on help and his ning site.. maybe i should check, but why am i too lazy to even enter "h" into the address bar and then press enter to jump into fail?

i miss havin Setto online on chat, wierdo fock izzie?

OH HAI BEBEH

whatever it is you wanna do woth these people be it awkward silence or fit of steamy luff making, go get it for crying out loud!