How I came across CatMan

Now there are two versions of this tale. There is what some would call the "truth" and it is bland and boring. I will tell this second. The tale I will tell first is how it happened as far as I see it, the CatMan version.

This was tales ago, before many adventures had occurred. I was as I am now a kid having fun. I was however more naive and innoccent.

I had not yet journeyed to the centre of the universe, I had not yet slayed the Cerberus which guards hell itself, in fact the height of my achievements so far had been that I had managed to touch my nose with my tongue. And of this I was proud.

And yet even having touched my nose in this way, and therefor discovered what my nose tasted like (apple pie), I felt as though there was an emptiness in my heart and mind. A void that could only be filled with the most magical thing. I had tried to fill it with sacred herbs. I had tried to fill it with books about dinosaurs. i had even tried to fill it by watching the music video for "Take On Me" backwards at half speed, WITH audio. But none had worked.

And then, one night in a dream, a voice did come to me. And it said;

"Meooooooooow."

And I did understand. And I did wake that instant, and leave my house. I walked for weeks, eyes closed. I travelled over deserts and mountains, I travelled under seas and stars. I met many people, although I don't remember their faces, because my eyes were shut.

And then eventually I came to a great volcano, and opened my eyes. And atop this volcano sat CatMan, surrounded by flying dinosaurs and bathed in an aura so bright it burned my eyes, but I could not and wished not to look away.

And he did descend. And he did take my hand in his paw. And in those seconds he did impart to me millions of years of wisdom. And he did say;

"What you just learned, is only the start."

And we both did weep with joy, and smoke many herbs, and walk back to my home, where he took a place in the corner of the room and did sleep for a while because it was a really long walk and he was tired.

And that is the way it did pass.

And now for the "real" account, which other people tend to prefer to believe.

I found him in a skip once when I was high.

I want teh millions of years of nollij.

Nice bibleish tail.